The Price...

I do not pretend to understand what it must be like to be gone as frequently as you. As I have previously stated, that I the main reason that I left active duty. I catch miniature doses of what you are referring to. I feel that it is part of the Warrior issue that we spoke of. We are placed in situations that require a type of person that few can become, let alone sustain. If you have seen, and lived continual conflict, it is my opinion that, it becomes a part of you. The Air Force has been at war/engagement for the close to two decades now. It puts an even greater stress on our families, I imagine it is like still being in love with your ex. They come around you fall in love with them all over again, and then they leave once more. I know that I feel like I don’t belong anywhere anymore. I don’t feel like I am a good civilian, nor a good warrior. Couple that with seeing that things work when you are not around, and at first they work better than when you are home, and it leaves me feeling like extra baggage. Or, I think that this is how a weapon feels between fights. We are used and battered; then repaired, sharpened, and thrown on a shelf until further need arises. I can only imagine how the vets from Vietnam felt. I know that as a force we are soft compared to others, but we are still warriors. Perhaps Odin really exists and holds a special place for us... of course Jesus will lead His army in the final battle; so, he may love us too. We all have our demons, don't allow them to make you ruin what is good in your life.