More deep thoughts???

Well, I have hit a pretty deep low point. I have tried to make a solid team. We recently were required to merge with another team. This has not been too bad, but there is the usual slump. I am mostly struggling with feeling like I am not living up to what people/upper management expects from me. It is pretty disheartening. I really do try to do the best I can. It is getting harder to not get the “F*** its”. I have been writing more letters home by hand. There has to be a reason for this. Maybe I am attempting to feel a tangible piece of home. Maybe it is something completely different. It is difficult to keep moving forward day to day when you feel ineffectual. I am really in a shitty way. I just want to go home. I have tried to do what they want, but they never seem think I am good enough. At least, that is how I feel. Perhaps they are pleased with me, but just can’t let me know. I do have tomorrow off, so that should help. The shift adjustment has affected my sleep, and it is a fact that sleep directly affects my moods. So, here is to the long sleep day.